December 2011
ventisette:
My goal for the new year is to be fully satisfied in being single. I think I am, for the most part, but there is still that part of me that sits in a coffee shop alone and hopes to make eye contact with a cute stranger and to leave with a stomach full of tea and a new number in my phone. There’s that portion of my heart that aches when I’m watching a movie and wish I could lean my...
*at le family reunion*
Cousin: So, has your dad had to buy a new stick to swat the boys away?
Me: OH
HA
OMFG
YOU
ARE
HILARIOUS
OH SWEET JESUS SOMEBODY HOLD ME
OH I AM PISSING MY PANTS
HA HA
no
tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
tourist: oh you think you're clever???
new yorker: what
tourist: i'm going to meet my dying niece and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
new yorker: oh... oh god i'm so sor
tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole
Have you read more than 6 of these books? The BBC... →
buffalobillsfan5:
Bold those books you’ve read in their entirety.
Italicize the ones you started but didn’t finish or read only an excerpt.
1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen 2 The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien 3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte 4 Harry Potter series 5 To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee 6 The Bible 7 Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte 8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell 9 His...
I just bought Florence + the Machine’s latest album, Ceremonials.
Let the good times begin.
2 tags
pandalove4realz asked: Oh hallo! HAPPY 2012! I've thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you more this year. Anything you do always makes me laugh, especially the things you post on tumblr :3 I has your sexy rave outfit in my room. Too bad you're never getting it...
everyone: it's just a book
you: YOU KNOW NOTHING
1 tag
Next thing you know we're going to be forced to...
interestingchoiceofwords:
Read More
2 tags
oh crap
i just realized that tonight we’ll be doing the countdown to the new year
well shit
before 2011 is over, I want someone to go to my... →
1 tag
when I finally have sex
some guy: now I know you're a virgin so you probably don't know much about -
me: no I read fanfiction I got this
2 tags
if there’s one thing I’m good at
it’s finding the most depressing movies on netflix
1 tag
How teens and adults text
pers0na:
mass-destruction:
arieecapulong:
Expectations:
Teens - wut es up! wut r u doing 2day? want 2 go & do sum stuff
Adults - What are you doing today? Want to hang out?
Reality:
Teens - Hey! What you doing today? Want to hang out?
Adults - wut es up! wut r u doing 2day? want 2 go & do sum stuff
this is so relevant
so accurate it hurts
I never knew there could be a...
1 tag
thumbelangie asked: :3 Tag, you’re it! Here are the rules: Each tagged person must post ten things about themselves. You have to choose and tag ten people. Go to their blogs and tell them you tagged them. No tag back! ♡
somberunicorn:
Merry Happy, Kate Nash
I can be...
1 tag
Teacher : What comes after 69?
Student : Mouthwash.
Teacher : Get out.
fuckyourwolves:
I don’t get why the guy in the Crucible was crying about his name
I mean damn nigga you can change it porn stars do it all the time
kinnetics:
do you ever get so platonically infatuated with someone that you just want to shower them with love and never stop but you’re afraid they’ll think you’re creepy and secretly start to judge you and no ssh stop all i want to do is love you
This is the best thing I have ever seen
mootiness: